For Robin, From Jen. You are the pee in my pants.

1. When you are sad - I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don 't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass

9. When you pe your pants - I will point and say "Look! It's me!"

This is my oath...I pledge it till the end Why, you may ask? Because you are my friend, and I love you, Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.